My brother and I work at the same store and were hanging out while he was on his 15 minute break. I was super frustrated with my job and he was giving me advice (since he used to do the same thing), and we got onto the topic of being replaceable cogs in the machine. The end of the conversation went something like this:
Me: I’m just tired of being a minimum-wage nothing worker.
Him: Well, we need to go home and better ourselves instead of going home and watching Chromecast all night. I need to stop playing video games.
Me: I don’t actually watch TV that much.
Him: I know. I’m just saying.
Me: And I’m learning a language. Does that not count as bettering myself?
Him: Learning Korean doesn’t count unless you can do something with it. Like unless you’re going to be some weird Korean translator or something.
Me: Maybe I am! You don’t know! But you probably need a college degree for that and I’m too poor to go back to school because I’m a minimum-wage nothing worker.
So if you haven’t guessed, my motivation is kind of low. I do realize my brother and I are being large parts self-pity. Oh well. That’s not what this post is about, really.
Our conversation got me thinking again about something that’s been nagging at me for a while. Is learning Korean worth it? I mean, it’s worth it because I like to do it and it makes me happy, but is it really bettering my life at all, or is it just a glorified hobby? Like a better sounding “video games”?
Because when I’m at work I have people around me speaking in Spanish and asking me if I speak Spanish all the time. I often have to fetch a coworker to help a guest whose language I don’t know and it makes me feel like maybe I should be learning that instead, because that would help in my life more than Korean. But I tried learning Spanish before. I didn’t hate it, but it didn’t bring me any happiness.
Sigh. I don’t know, my friends. I don’t want to stop learning Korean because it does bring me happiness… but I feel like I need to find a way to stop feeling guilty for “wasting” my time. And to stop thinking I’m wasting my time on something that’s perceived as mostly useless in my life. Of course I would like to be in a position someday where I CAN use Korean to further my life, but that’s looking ahead too far for me right now.
Anyway, this post is such a downer. I’m sorry. I hope you guys are doing well. <3